Tuesday, July 1, 2008

BACKGROUND: JULY 2008

I caught my room mate 'borrowing' my best bra! Nearly ripped it too! The only way I'm going to get to keep ones that fit are if I buy him something frilly. Or dry them on a hanger outside my bedroom window. The neighbors would like that.


Four dates in four weeks, four different men. Each and every one of them a stellar loser, each in his own unique way.

Number one: Saturnine proboscis, trim hips, lawyer. And a complete dick.

Number two: Blond hair (fake), rolex watch (fake), smooth tongue (false), and a clingy mom (very very real).

Number three: Adult men should not sound adenoidal. By the end of dinner you want to cream him with the dessert tray.

Number four: Eight arms, clumsy feet, and a smirk. Can't handle his whiskey. Jerk.


But hey, they were all Jewish. I must be narrowing the field here. And by throwing them back into the pool, maybe they'll distract the other girls.

Jack says he can find me a nice sensitive man who is artistic and kind, after all, he knows all of them. I might get desperate enough.