Sunday, November 30, 2008

Worst frickin Thanksgiving ever!

First off, I cannot understand how someone with such a taste for redmeat in her bedroom could want tofurky on her plate. Surely she would understand the wholesomeness of REAL MEAT?!?

And why did she invite all three of the men she's done everything BUT sleep with for the last few months? Did she think they had sooooo much in common they would naturally get along?

Manoman what a nasty horrid appaling holiday. Cranberry sauce out of a can was the least unappetizing thing about it. So of course I guarded the dish with the squiggly mess like a rabid dog. Tofu and gluten in several different prefabs are not a feast. Salad out of a bag may not be a good choice, but TRY not to insult the poor dead vegetables by chopping up process cheese with kitchen shears over them, please!

Bottle Italian. Yuck.

Canned peaches. Double yuck.

Undercooked yams (my fault, but oh well), and overcooked stringbeans (blame my mom). But anyhow triple and quadruple yuck.

The tattoo artist brought some kind of vegetarian couscous salad with pomegrantes. It looked repulsive, like her dyes had drained from the brand new demon face on her arm - I guess that would be the pomegranate - but had enough garlic to seem sexy.

Someone (!) brought vegetarian frankfurters in vegan mayonaise with pimentos. Toad barf, seriously.

Still, three meaty men (all of whom brought...., wait for it...., BEER!), three single women, plus K. and her compugeek boyfriend - it COULD've been a good evening........ If only K and her nerdface hadn't been so deeply in lust, and THANG had told two of the men to go home early. Go home. Just go home. You ain't getting ANY, go! Home! G'wan, scram!

I just wish she would make up her mind.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, did Thang keep all three men there all night?

Inquiring and prurient minds want to know.

DEATH BY NOODLES said...

Wow, tofurky sounds nasty.

Plus franks and beer too. How awful, you had a football fan day instead.

Suzycat said...

Well, it did seem like there was a whole lot of tackling going on....